Reubens Far and Wide Post Numero Uno

Hello fellow Reuben-eaters. Apparently I am the only one that still takes direction from Ms. Kara Bailey's assistant. Though what gives with her turning out to really be Kathryn Bailey? Imposter. Anyway. Nick and I ate Reubens last Wednesday at Gruby's New York Deli on Hilton Head Island, SC. Well, technically we ate New Yorkers, but the requisite Samburg-required ingredients were all there so it counts. The bread could have been greasier a la Korean Johnny, but overall they were pleasant. Made better by the realized potential of drinking sweet tea with them. Mmmm.... Photographic evidence as follows:

FELLOW REUBEN WEDNESDAYERS!

A proposal.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. And though we be far, and though we be wide, I say we all have Reubens for lunch. It'll be almost like Reuben Wednesday has returned. What say you?

-Mark

World's Best Reuben?

***Although this article is written from a first person account, I am sad to say I am not the author.

Cue a little 1980s-era Survivor music, "The Search is Over..."

In graduate school, a friend and I decided that to pay our outrageous student loan bills, we would write a coffee table book on the seriously under-loved cardiac inducing Reuben sandwich. We envisioned a girls-only road trip across the U.S. searching for the perfect Reuben based on our carefully considered criteria. Fast forward 8 years later and the book, and more sadly the trip, never happened. But, we've both kept eating Reuben sandwiches. Well, stop the clock. I have found the perfect Reuben at David's Delicatessen in San Francisco. Behold, perfection.

You're looking at the world's (or at least the U.S.'s) most perfect Reuben sandwich.

Although the book never came to fruition, I have eaten my way across the United States, regularly testing out the quality of Reubens. I consider a Reuben perfect travel food. It's so unhealthy, I would never normally eat it (plus, the meatiness of it offends my normally more vegetarian-leaning palate), but it falls nicely into the category of "vacation food"--eating stuff you would never eat at home! For some people, vacation food is license to gorge on dessert. For me, it's a Reuben.

Now look, I know what you're thinking "you live in New York. You couldn't find a perfect Reuben closer to home?" Well, frankly, no. The remaining New York delis are overrated, ridiculously expensive, and seem to cater to the facile notion that "more" is "better." They are banking on tourist nostalgia and the ever-burgeoning American waistline.

At one New York establishment, I had to have been served the equivalent of a whole cow and was charged almost $30.00 for it (okay, pretty cheap for a whole cow, but pretty expensive for A SANDWICH). I just wanted a nice little Reuben sandwich. Not to mention that many of the delis are Kosher, so you can't have meat and cheese mixed. Carnegie, Katz's, Stage, Ben's: I've done them all. And, some of them have an okay good Reuben. But, none of them have the perfect Reuben sandwich.

Enter David's Delicatessen. The restaurant has seen better days. It's a throwback to a 1940s era deli. We ate at the counter and the whole thing had a historical feel. I've read some reviews which trash the restaurant for being expensive and dirty. Now, I'm a New Yorker, so when people throw around the word "expensive," they better know what they're talking about. They don't. We paid half the price for our meal at David's what we have paid at iconic New York delis. Dirty? Sure, in that diner/deli/old school kind of way. It adds some charm to the experience. If I'm looking for fine dining, I'm not usually eating a Reuben, if you know what I mean. I think a little grunge adds to the overall ambiance of actually giving yourself permission to eat something like a Reuben. It's one of those guilty little pleasures that feels like breaking some cardinal rule. So, a little grunge is good.

So, onto perfection. The ingredients:

* Corned Beef (pastrami-eating Reuben posers, get lost! Corned beef is the real thing!)
* Sauerkraut
* Swiss Cheese
* Thousand Island Dressing
* Grilled Challah Bread

Okay, for starters: all of the ingredients must be fresh. Serving musty old corned beef with a hunk of "refrigerator smell" swiss, is not acceptable. Nor is day old bread or, the worst, Thousand Island dressing served on the side with a suspicious crust like pudding skin. When I say fresh, people, I mean fresh.

Next, many restaurants take egregious short cuts, like substituting different kinds of meat and cheese. Another terrible Reuben faux pas is serving the sandwich without sauerkraut. Equally egregious is delivering it without Thousand Island dressing. Equally egregious is the following combination: one slice of corned beef, one slice of cheese, and anemic amounts of the other ingredients. The perfect Reuben is a balance of all of the ingredients in copious, but not overwhelming amounts. There might not be anything more culinarily offensive than an anorexic Reuben sandwich, the likes of which you have seen at diners around America. In fact, the wikipedia entry for "Reuben sandwich" features two of the most anemic looking Reubens I've ever seen.

A note on the bread: the traditional Reuben is served on rye bread. However, David's offered me a choice of challah or rye. I actually despise rye, so I chose challah. The slightly sweet taste of the egg bread really added something to the sandwich. But, whether it's challah or rye, the secret to the bread is two-fold: first, it must be thick enough to actually support the whole sandwich. Many restaurants use cheap, mass produced bread that is flavorless and fiber less that wilts underneath the almighty power of the Reuben, so that after the first bite you have a disgusting pile of slop that you have to eat with a fork. This is gross. At David's, the thickness of the bread was perfect! Secondly, all bread for the perfect Reuben must be toasted. This is because the firmness of toasted bread nicely balances the softness of the meat and cheese.

Here's the secret to the Reuben: any so-called Reuben sandwich sucks unless, in one bite, you can get the full mix of flavors. I call this "Reuben mixology." Most Reubens don't make the grade on this element alone. You have to have all of the above in every bite. And thus, the perfection. David's Reuben is just the right size. The sandwich is more calories than anyone actually needs in a day, but it isn't so heinously over sized that you can't enjoy the full mix of flavors. When you bite down, you get bread, meat, cheese, sauerkraut and dressing all in one bite. Bite after bite.

The last element of perfection? You can finish the whole sandwich in one sitting. Taking home a Reuben is a sign of an inferior palate or a poorly made sandwich. Day-old, reheated (or worse, COLD) Reubens are, in a word, disgusting. Just. Don't. Do. It.

So, a five star review for the Reuben at David's. I can't vouch for any of the other food, but the Reuben is perfection itself.

David's Delicatessen
474 Geary Street in San Francisco (Union Square/Tenderloin)

***DARE I SAY ROADTRIP???***

Someone needs to post

And it's going to be me dammit. From under the desk. Cheers.